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Love, I would say, is a combination of feelings and actions. A drunken man hunched in the bar blithering on about how much he loves his family may feel a great deal, but unless this is converted into action it is not very loving.
Conversly the mother who is full of a cold, tired, and frustrated may not even like her child right now, but when she makes the effort to be nice, regardless of what she is feeling - That is Love.
Many parents feel a great deal of love for their children but because of the pressure of social norms, anxiety or just ignorance they frequently neglect to act in the best interests of their children. Once a child starts school (and even before) parents may become so involved in the child's betterment, ferrying them between various clubs,classes and parties, that they forget to spend much time with them. Children being ferried all over the place don't feel loved, they feel got rid of! And very often their behaviour deteriorates. Parents with anxiety won't let their children miss classes incase they get left behind (where?).
I will use the simile of a person who loves their garden to illustrate the point. Keen gardeners will spend hours looking at, and learning about their garden. They will pick out any weeds and nurture the bits that they want to encourage. They will not be keen to hand over the care of their garden to others because no one else will know their garden as well as them.
I have an affirmation on my wall which reads "Children are my most important seedlings and I am a seedling too!" It helps me remember to spend lots of time encouraging, admiring and nourishing my babies. And they repay me by being the most amazing flowers in the field. If they held most cheerful child competitions we would win them all!
I really admire parents who really love their children and are able to convert that love into action. People who are prepared to flout social norms and ignore their own anxiety in order to; keep breastfeeding until their child is ready to give up, keep a child from school if necessary, let children learn manners in their own time and listen to and respond to their children's needs. If these courses of action take you away from a conventional life and into unexplored territory - lucky you. Love is having the courage to take risks to do what you really know is right. I have never regreted doing the loving thing.
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"A loving heart is the truest wisdom." Charles Dickens
"Things are beautiful if you love them." Jean Anouilli.
"Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come."
Chinese proverb
"The best exercise for the heart is to bend over backwards for someone else." Anon.
"There is only one happiness; to love and to be loved." George Sand (1804 -1876)
"I define love thus: the will to extend oneself for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth." M Scott Peck (1936 - )
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