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Your Letters
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Our passion for happiness has lead people to accuse us of being totally mad and selfish. We are control freaks who are making freaks out of our children. We our letting our children down because we do not integrate them into society by sending them to school. They are not really happy (they cannot possibly be if they can’t read yet) they just think they are! A lot of people send their children to school because they feel that since everybody else is doing it, it must be right. They do not stop to question the decision makers, or examine the nature of schooling. If their children are having to cope with dull work or playground pecking orders their parents tend to think it is good for them, good for their growth.
Cloning around?
But why do parents want their children to grow up so quickly, to lose the wide eyed delight of childhood and become efficient at coping with difficulty?
I’m not saying that school is a place without fun or laughter, but it limits children’s playfulness, demands long periods of concentration or boredom and programmes children into putting up with beaurocratic rules, knuckling down, and doing academic work. Many intelligent children whose brains work best with practical rather than academic problems fail the programme. Even the successful children lose a great deal of creativity, spontenaity and joy. They are taught that it is normal to have to do lots of things you don’t want to, and that if you want to do well you have to work for it. I think children tend to be brainwashed into believing that successful people are those who work hard.
Some people are critical of us because we don’t work hard. Since our happiness is not hard won, it must be false. I have been told that "Our children are only happy because they are being closeted from the real world. They will struggle to cope with the demands real life makes upon them since they have not had the training school provides."
Of course I do want my children to learn to read and to be able to function within society. However I also want to learn from my children how to be at peace, to have no worries, to be resourceful and able to play games with no thought of what I should be doing, to imagine worlds that are as real as my own, to sleep like a baby and wake up with enthusiasm for each new day. Most children spend their childhood being taught how to function as an adult. I would rather let my children be children, while they can.
I have two older daughters (here’s two I made earlier) and after a very relaxed uncontrolled childhood they have both gone on to college,and gained distinctions. They were also both voted to be student reps. by their peers. I’m not saying that popularity and academic achievement are indicative of success but it is good to know that with very little prior training or school environment socialisation they have been able to thrive at college.
They feel that they have a massive advantage over the other kids because they are creative thinkers, full of imagination, and they enjoy doing well without feeling under pressure. As much as anything they have gone to college fresh.
Everyone is brainwashed to an extent by their upbringing and experiences. We have chosen to help our children believe that they are beautiful, clever people who can achieve whatever they want. They understand that life is mainly joyous and that occasional difficulties help us to learn. They believe that they are healthy and strong and wonderful to be around.
As Einstein (who was incidentally home schooled) said "whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t you are generally right."
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"If you hear that someone is speaking ill of you, instead of trying to defend yourself say, "He obviously doesn't know me very well, since there are so many other faults he could of mentioned." Epictetus (60-110 AD)
"No one wants advice - only corroboration" John Steinbeck (1902 - 1968)
"Argue for your limitations and sure enough they are yours." Richard Bach
"Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children." Charles R Swindoll
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