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I think that most of us have adopted rigid views on many aspects of childrearing from authoritarian parents. For instance if your parents believed that children should be seen and not heard (and if they also reinforced this belief with arbitary and possibly brutal punishment) then it is highly likely that as a parent yourself, you will feel the same way.
Following the herd?
This is because when your children are running around being noisy (a natural and healthy state) you will find the situation highly stressful, primarily because it triggers off unhappy memories for you. Likewise an adult child of a parent who was very houseproud is liable to end up the same just because untidiness on some subconcious level frightens them.
I think it is important to remember that a lot of our attitudes to children are inherited. Think of the things that bother you about your children. Are they things that bothered your parents when you were a child? My father regularly shouted and threatened us because he "needed a bit of peace and quiet!" Sometimes when my children are being noisy I begin to get an overwelming desire to do the same thing. However because I am able to recognise that my sensitivity to cheerful child noise is in part formed by feelings of fear left over from my childhood, I am able to either choose to relish the noise, or slope off to my bedroom for "a bit of peace and quiet!"
I'm not saying that I never ask my children to be quiet, just that I try only ask them when it's appropriate, i.e. when I 'm trying to concentrate or have a conversation with friends. Since I am not constantly at them to be quiet they are generally very good at complying with the requests I do make.
It is important to examine all your attitudes to children under a microscope and get shot of the unreasonable ones. After all the more reasonable you are the more reasonable your children will be.
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"Everything that irritates us about others, can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." Carl Jung
"A habit is something you can do without thinking - which is why most of us have so many of them." Frank Clark
"Habits are first cobwebs, then cables." Spanish proverb
"Habits are like supervisors you don't notice." Hanne Messemer
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