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We have regular family meetings in our house which involve the whole family sitting down to discuss any news we may have, new ideas for rotas or problems that we are having. Whenever there is a problem within the family that needs to be resolved we seek advice from our children on the best way of tackling it. Within the "team" we can always come up with a creative solution. My daughters have asked me to point out that family meetings are at best a pain and at worst an insufferable nightmare! Ah well!
Anywhere, any time, any place!
A few years ago our creative solution was to attend family therapy as I was concerned that Ceili's shyness would stop her forming friendships and I was worried that she may be lonely. After a couple of sessions of therapy the councillor pointed out that I couldn't "fix" Ceili and that I must have faith in her. I was helped to realise that I was being overcontrolling, and must let go of trying to sort everyone out. (He also told us that he had rarely met such a communicative and warm family!) When Ceili went to college a year later she decided (with no help from me) to " fake it to make it" and managed to make loads of friends. Nobody now would believe that she had ever been shy.
The point I am making is that problems in our family are aired rather than ignored and ideas for alleviating these problems are discussed and acted upon.
At the end of our family meetings we have an "I appreciate session" during which we all find something to appreciate about everyone else in the family. This can be simple such as "I appreciate Holly for being a lovely sister!", or more specific like "I appreciate Ceili for finding the courage to be extrovert at college and for bringing lots of good gossip home for the rest of us!"
Most importantly once we've appreciated everyone else we have to appreciate ourselves. For instance "I appreciate me for making the effort to write this website!" These "I appreciate sessions" help to remind us of all the good things we have in our family. And whatever the girls say I know they appreciate them!!?
When we are coping with stress in our lives it also helps us to hold hands and recite the family prayer. Oh, you should hear the children whine when I suggest we recite this rocking little number!
"Today is another perfect day
Because I believe it is
I love myself and I deserve the best.
No matter what happens to me today
I am in control of my own thoughts
and I deserve to feel great.
In this family we agree to help each other
by trying to be truthful, appreciative
and filled with faith at all times.
Aren't we lucky ?"
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"Nothing lowers the level of conversation more than raising the voice!" Stanley Horowitz
"Rare is the person who can weigh the faults of others without putting his thumb on the scales!" Byron Langenfield
"How much easier it is to be critical, than to be correct." Benjamin Disraeli
"We all have weaknesses, but I figured that others have put up with mine so tolerantly, that I would be less than fair not to make a reasonable discount for theirs." William White
"To see what is in front of ones nose requires a constant struggle" George Orwell
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom; the music is nothing if the audience is deaf" Walter Lippmann
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