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So what do we actually do then? I have compiled the following approximate diary, but the most important aspect of our life is its flexibility. Just this morning we all stayed chatting in bed till 10am, because we wanted to. What our lifestyle gives us more than anything is the animalistic ability to go with the flow! So in general then;
Cliff and I raise our heads from the pillow to say goodbye to Holly and Ceili when they leave on the college bus at 7.30am. We doze and chat for another half an hour and then one of us goes to make a hot drink and muesli whilst the other reads with the boys. At approx 8.30 we all sit down to breakfast and discuss what’s happening today, including what chores we will be doing. One boy washes up after breakfast whilst the other does some schoolwork. Since the schoolwork is not compulsory we have to work to make sure it’s fun. Quite often it’s a board game and the son who’s washing up will join in after.
After school, at about 10am we start doing the day's chores, which we try to make a group effort, on which we will spend between half an hour and an hour. Cliff may spend the rest of the morning doing a bigger task such as gardening, car mechanicing or decorating. After our chores we all have freedom to do what we want.
Lunch is usually between 1 and 2pm and it is another opportunity to talk to Joel and Max. They are full of ideas and we spend a lot of time discussing their latest theories and ours. Sometimes they don’t turn up for lunch at all, or they just grab a carrot as they rush past.
At least three times a week we try and do an activity such as swimming, walking, playing sardines or going out to the beach, a castle or a waterfall. I trade children with a home schooling friend and so at least once a week the boys either have Dan over or go over there. They also go to cubs once a week. From 5 O’clock till teatime we tend to let the boys watch a bit of video or play on the Play Station if they like.
Cliff and I try to go out for a walk most days, either taking the boys with us or grabbing opportunities when sitters are available. Cliff and I also have various projects on the go. We have recently set up a guided walking business, Cliff does a couple of days work in the village, and I enjoy writing. We also provide respite support to foster carers, so we have other children to stay most weekends. A couple of times a week Cliff and I go to bed for a good time in the afternoon! (we have a lock on the door!). Or maybe if it's grim out, me and the boys will cuddle up in the family bed with a book after lunch.
Cliff and I take it in turns to make tea and usually have it on the table when the girls (with or without their friends) come home on the bus, starving at 5.45 pm. We all sit round the table and this is probably the most important time of day. It is usually noisy and fun with everyone sharing their news, jokes etc. Also the cook is generally lavished with praise!
After dinner in the winter, half the time we will watch some video and half the time we play board games, sing or do jigsaws together. During the warmer months we will generally be outside if the weather is fine, sitting by the pond, trampolining or swimming in the river.
Sometimes the boys put themselves to bed but mostly someone reads to them. They go up at about 8.00, lights off at 9.00. At about 10.30 Cliff and I snuggle into the family bed and enjoy a cuddle and a good book. The girls do come into the family bed occasionally (they quite often read in there during the day) but they mainly sleep in their groovy static caravan.
We generally go into town twice a week combining shopping with cubs or swimming. Since we generally do respite on the weekends it tends to be a bit of a party atmosphere at home then, making sure we go swimming, get the noisy board games out and have huge puddings!
Many people would imagine my life lacks stimulation but my theories and ideas are constantly evolving and I find the process of trying to be the best person I can be extremely challenging. Cliff and I have chosen an unusual lifestyle, our parenting is by most peoples standards eccentric and it takes courage to stand apart from the crowd (see peer group pressure). Since we are gambling our children's future happiness on whether our parenting ideas and principles are right, the stakes are high. This means that we tend to put a lot of thought and energy into the parenting decisions that we make. It is difficult to catalogue the thinking that is done every day but I would estimate that the whole family (adults and children) spend hours thinking, and, although I'd like to switch my brain off sometimes, on the whole I think that's brilliant!
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"There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do." Freya Stark
"Happiness is a thing to be practiced like the violin." John Lubbock
"To live long, live slowly." Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 - 43BC)
"One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." A A Milne
"Don't serve time, make time serve you." Willie Sutton (1860 - 1928)
"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few people do it" Henry Ford
"If your going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now" Marie Osmond
"I never put off till tomorrow, what I can possibly do the day after" Oscar Wilde
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